This is probably going to be my last post for a while. Reason being is that I went to see my psychiatrist today and the therapy he recommends is just to go about the rest of my life and not dwell on what happened, not try to dissect it, try not to figure out what various sensations mean, where I went wrong, what exactly happened, but rather just to leave it alone and move on to other things. I believe that includes this blog. So, that is all I will be writing about on this topic, hopefully for a while.

Cheers and thanks to everyone.

Well after about 8 days off zyprexa, I am having to go back on. The wierd pounding sensations in my head started coming back, although there was a day when I felt great and almost normal. Then at the end of the day I watched some wierd ken wilbur videos on youtube and they triggered a complete relapse. I spent the next day (which includes now) in a state of constant panic; I was drinking and pissing like crazy, food tasted like rocks and was horrible to eat, and this swelling and pounding in my head kept me freaked out despite my attempts to overcome it. Finally I called my psychiatrist and he told me, duh, that I need to go back on zyprexa immediately. He said last type that if I had any recurrence of symptoms I should contact him immediately and go back on the medication. Stupid me tried to handle it and get them under control myself for about 5 days. Arrogance has dogged me throughout this whole ordeal, but I am done with it now. I'll do whatever it takes to be well again, I don't care about anything else. Good lord.